When you were a kid, did you ever have one of those ant farms? The contraption had sand and ants in the middle and the sides were glass. You could sit there and watch the ants as they scrambled about getting on with the business at hand.
Have you ever wondered, What if we are living in someone else’s ant farm? Here we are, trying to go about the business of living, when that someone decides to turn the ant farm upside down, or maybe just tilt it a little bit. Then we go stumbling, falling out of control until we can get our feet back on the ground. We are no longer at the same place and it seems like we have to start living—start building our lives—all over again.
That is the way my life seems to me right now. Every time I think I have my feet back under me, someone tilts the goddamn ant farm again. I am tired, and wonder if all this living is worth it.
Don’t get me wrong: I love my life. I just hate that with this living comes so much pain. The pain of losing the people or animals I love. The pain that makes it feel like my heart and soul are being ripped right through my chest and I can’t do anything to stop it. That pain that makes it seem difficult even to catch my next breath.
You know, my mind starts thinking, “What goes around comes around.” But damn! Really? I’m trying to remember what I could have done that has karma biting my ass!
I know that life is hard. I know I should enjoy the goodness and beauty of each day, because I never know when that asshole might tilt the ant farm again.
Ramblings of an Inquisitive Mind 
Comments on: "Ant Farm" (2)
2 things I’ve recently come to realize from many years of trying to survive the ant farm shake – figure out the lesson I need to learn and because of my stubborness, it sometimes takes many tries to get it thru my thick head…. & identify what I need to remove to let the right things in….sounds crazy but I have come to believe there is a guiding force (some say God, some say universe, etc) that trys to guide me if I will just let go of my attempt to control things because the only real thing I can control is me & my reaction….all I can hope for is the wisdom & patience to see the light on my path trying to guide me in my needed direction….now rather than ask for certain things, I only ask for the wisdom to see the light on my path so if my ant farm shakes it is because I need to change something or experience something…so that’s my Sunday morning rambling on the ant farm shake…..
Thanks Debra. I love the way you think.