Ramblings of an Inquisitive Mind

Well, it is time. Time for me to unzip this impostor’s costume that I have been walking around in for the last few years of my life. I know I have talked before about a snake or a lizard shedding its skin—but that is not what this feels like. I feel like I pulled on a costume after my parents died, and that costume served me well for a long time. It healed me, in a way. But it also distanced me from a lot of things that I hold dear.

I am extremely frightened and also excited, both at the same time. Once this costume is unzipped, only new, tender, fragile skin will be exposed. I have no idea what to expect. Will this exposure be worth it in the end? Or will the costume hang in the closet, always at the ready, if fear overtakes me? I guess only time will tell. I am hopeful that this will allow me to evolve into the soul, the creature, the being that I am destined to be.

It is time for me to tell my story—to let you in—and hopefully it will help me figure out who the hell I am. I hope that sharing some of my life with you will not only free me, but might also encourage you to tell your story and free yourself. Maybe by sharing we can all learn how to get along in this world. The world can be a scary place when you feel like you are alone and the world does not care, or does not even see you.

I am hoping to discover how this 56-year-old, liberal, democratic, recovering alcoholic, lesbian, animal-loving, long-haired, hippie, peace-loving freak came to be. For years I was pretty darn sure I didn’t belong to my family. I thought maybe I was Joni Mitchell’s child!!! But the funny thing is that I look just like my Pops. So for all my differences from them, for all that I am, I am made up of equal parts Chew, Scott, Sikes, and Braswell.

Over the next few weeks I will start sharing some of my stories. Thanks for reading and thank you for all the support.