Ramblings of an Inquisitive Mind

Less Hate

I have tried so hard not to write—not to put my feelings on paper. Not to offend or to hurt; not to add to the ever-growing conflict. But my heart is broken.

I am so fucking sick of hate I cannot even speak without anger flowing from my breath. I want to yell and scream, but all I seem to be able to do is whimper and cry. I cry for us all—we have all lost so much. We have lost our kindness, our compassion, our humanity, and our souls. Every single one of us is only out for what is best for each of us, and we’ll be damned about what is good for all of us.

I don’t care if you consider yourself a Republican, Democrat, conservative, liberal, Christian, atheist, agnostic, or anything else. First and foremost we are all human beings. We are all the same, whether we like it or not—that’s just the way it is. We need to stop looking for differences. We need to stop looking for reasons to hate our neighbors, and stop hating others before we know even one damn thing about them.

I have many friends on Facebook, all spewing their views of the world, never thinking that one of their “friends” might have a different view of the world. And who cares anyway, because if that “friend” does not agree with their views, who needs them? Right? Wrong. That is not how this world, and especially this country, should work. We should be able to disagree without hating the person who disagrees with us.

My heart just cannot not handle this hate. I wish I could turn my feelings off—go run and hide my heart in a shell and not take it out again until it is safe, when it cannot be hurt by this hatred any longer. But that is not who I am. My life has been blessed with the ability to feel everything deeply. That is why I’m having such a hard time with this hatred.

There was a point in my life when I was early in recovery and another woman in the program really did not care for me. I wanted to resent her and hate her, but then it dawned on me: That very same woman helped multiple other women get sober and stay sober. She might not have been my biggest fan, but she did a lot of good for a lot of people. Just knowing that changed my view and my feelings towards her. I was not the center of the universe. Other people needed what she had to offer to be able to move forward in their own lives.

There are still times when I feel angry after reading someone’s post or hearing some comment that sets me off. But then I remember that that very same person lost their mom or dad and grieved and hurt just the way I did when I lost mine. Or their beloved pet died and now they feel so lost when they go home and their buddy is no longer there to greet them.

I am trying my very best to remember and embrace the things that connect us, instead of the things that pull us apart and tear an ever-widening gap between us. I try to remember that we all experience the joys of a well-earned accomplishment. We all love that new car smell and puppy dog breath. We look at the same sun and moon. We breathe the same air and we all embrace our loved ones and want to keep them safe. Please. Please. More embracing and less hate.